Well, here it is folks. My most recent and heinous creation:

The fabric, as mentioned previously, came from Graceland. It was brought to me by a friend, but I, myself, have visited Graceland twice. I've also been to Tupelo, Mississippi, where The King was born.
The first time I visited Graceland was the anniversary of his death. The line was so long that we had to wait over an hour in the Memphis summer heat before we could even get tickets. Inside the house foreigners were taking each other's pictures in front of the quintessential Elvis jumpsuits and children were going "Dude!" in response to the room with floor to ceiling green shag carpet. I saw a Japanese man reverently place a plaque on Elvis's grave (which, I think you all should know, is right by his swimming pool).
Many of the folks visiting that day were in their sixties. Some were in tears, but it seemed more about mourning their youth than frantic fan worship. I watched as a perfectly coiffed white haired woman wiped her eyes in front of a TV playing an interview of Elvis as he was discharged from the Service.
I asked one of the ladies leading the tour how she felt about Elvis. She gave me a look and didn't answer; I assumed that all he meant to her was a third rate job. I thought about how he paved a path for Motown and Rock as we know it, and how he challenged a sexually suppressed society. I thought about all the songs written about Elvis (
Boy from Tupelo by Emmylou Harris,
Elvis Presley Blues by Gillian Welch, to name only two). I thought about how amazing and quintessentially American it was that a sharecropper's son could attain such astounding fame. I thought about how beautiful his voice was.
My friend and I talked one of the tour leaders into taking our picture in front of the house. We each held a sign with arrows pointing to each other, and lines from Paul Simon's song,
Graceland. Mine read "Child of my first marriage," and the hers, "My travelling companion." The woman taking our picture was literally melting in the sun: her tall, complicated hairstyle was collapsing, and her makeup was running. As she handed me my camera she asked, "What's those signs mean?"
I wonder how Elvis would feel about this apron. Supposedly toasted peanut butter and banana sandwiches were his favorite. Maybe that should be this apron's maiden meal.